


When There's Nothing Left But Pain

by Anonymous



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Cyberverse
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Domestic Violence, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Procedures, Serious Injuries, Suicidal Thoughts, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2019-11-18 00:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18109388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Things took a bad turn for Starscream when the war started. Now, he suffers alone and no one seems to care.But, he soon realizes that his trinemates are his greatest source of comfort.





	1. Chapter 1

When Starscream first met Megatron, he was immediately pulled into the fascinating mech’s orbit. Megatron was a burning star filled with so many dreams for a brighter Cybertron. It was in his ranks that Starscream found a sense of belonging. For the first time, his talents and knowledge were appreciated, allowed to flourish. He wasn’t written off as an irritating, empty-headed, conceited flyer like so many already did. No, Megatron valued him. Respected him. 

“You have so much potential,” he’d say, his voice so intoxicatingly sincere and reverent that Starscream practically melted from the compliments. “So much strength and acumen. I couldn’t imagine anyone more worthy to help me lead my movement into the future.” 

And help Starscream did, from supporting Megatron at his rallies to collaborating on his speeches every once in a while when the data clerk couldn’t get to them. He gathered new followers, he protested in the streets. 

Starscream believed in Megatron’s cause with all of his spark, but he believed in Megatron even more. 

Megatron first became his mentor and then…a friend. Starscream had casual acquaintances and lackeys, but never a true friend. This was something new for him, exciting. He and Megatron would drink the night away at MacCadam’s Oil House, laughing over outlandish stories. They’d even go to Cube matches every once in a while. Most often, they’d meet somewhere in the city with their devotees and Starscream would listen to Megatron share his hopes for a new Cybertron, offering his own input when he saw fit. 

Starscream’s spark raced when Megatron unveiled the glowing, purple Decepticon symbol in front of a large crowd. But, nothing compared to a later rally when all of their hard work culminated and the revolution began. 

Megatron turned to the battle-ready masses and shouted, “I will lead the Decepticons to victory alongside my second-in-command, Starscream, and our forces. We will not fail you, Cybertron. Join us if you can. Rise up!”

Starscream basked in the deafening cheers. 

***

And then the war began. 

As it dragged on, Megatron began to change. Not drastically, but Starscream couldn’t help but notice things here and there. Megatron was much more domineering with his position now, having no qualms with threats and punishments. Or even hunting down and offlining deserters. 

He was still mostly cordial with Starscream, but that quickly changed after it became apparent that the Decepticons weren’t going to win the conflict so easily. He grew colder and colder on the outside, but he simmered with a terrifying frustration below the surface. Most cycles, he didn’t even greet Starscream anymore, preferring to brusquely give him orders instead. He’d openly deride him when he got details wrong or failed during his missions, even in front of Slipstream and the rest of the seekers. Soon, it was as if Megatron only had two modes for communicating with Starscream: orders and insults.

One fateful cycle, everything shattered to pieces.

It all happened so rapidly that Starscream barely had time to process what was going on. One moment, he was desperately trying to explain what went wrong, how sorry he was for the clumsy mistake. How he’d go out there with his trine mates right now and finish the job. 

Megatron was shouting at him, his voice getting louder and louder with a fury that Starscream had never seen before. 

Starscream attempted to apologize again. He was sincere. He just wanted another chance!

And then, Megatron backhanded him so hard that he was thrown halfway across the room. Sharp pain coursed through his sensors. Energon dripped down his faceplate as he stared up at Megatron in disbelief. 

“L-Lord Megatron,” he wheezed. He climbed to his pedes, shaking as Megatron advanced on him. 

“I’ve heard enough of your pathetic excuses, Starscream!” 

Megatron grabbed him by the neck, slowly crushing him until he writhed in his grasp, trying to pry the large mech’s digits away. Then, Starscream was unceremoniously slammed onto the ground. Kicked over and over until he was curling in on himself, crying out in pain. 

“Please…no…,” Starscream wailed. “M-Megatron, s-stop. I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” 

His pleas went unheard. 

“You’re useless. Weak. An embarrassment to the Decepticon cause!” Megatron roared. “You couldn’t even handle one simple task, you worthless slag. You cost me the mission!” 

Starscream was picked up and punched in the faceplate. Grabbed by a wing and hurled into the wall. 

Finally, Megatron had enough. He loomed over Starscream’s broken, energon-covered chassis as he cowered on the ground. “Dismissed,” he said. “Count yourself lucky this time. Fail me again…” he let the threat hang in the air. 

Starscream dragged himself out of the room as fast as his wounded chassis would allow. He made it halfway down the corridor before slumping against the wall and sliding to the floor, leaving a trail of energon in his wake. He couldn’t stop trembling. But, even worse was the deep ache in his spark. An ache that nothing could possibly fix now. 

***  
The next cycle, after being hastily patched up in the medical bay, he joined Megatron, Soundwave, and Slipstream in the command center. His dents and scratches were still visible, but no one said anything. He didn’t dare look at Megatron.

Well, until Megatron angrily called him out for not listening. 

He snapped to attention, clenching his servos to keep his panic from rising as Megatron looked at him with blazing red optics. “Lord Megatron, I hear you. Your idea is brilliant…I’ll set out with Thundercracker and Skywarp and—”

“Make a fool out of yourself?” Megatron said. “Yes, you’re certainly good at that.” 

Starscream blinked up at him, hurt welling in his spark, a deep, agonizing pain that nearly overwhelmed him right there in front of everyone, bringing him a klik away from screaming out his frustrations at the continuous, unfathomable betrayal. The broken kinship.

As the meeting ended and Slipstream headed for the door, Starscream remained. He knew it was a dangerous thing to do, but he was desperate. He just wanted to fix this nightmare. 

“Well?” Megatron said, absentmindedly tapping his fusion canon, optics narrowed. Soundwave observed silently. 

“Why?” Starscream said, his voice unsteady. “I’ve—I’ve been nothing but loyal. Supported you from the beginning.” 

Megatron turned his back on him. “We’re at war, Starscream. Now get out there and do your job.” 

*** 

Things never mended between them. From then on, it felt like Megatron went out of his way to make his life difficult. He’d slap him around whenever he felt like it, even in front of his fellow Decepticons. He’d openly belittle him at every turn. While he was harsh with other subordinates, no one felt his wrath more than Starscream. 

And soon, it was just part of his existence. Cycle after cycle after cycle. Nevermind that he’d given everything to the cause since its inception. Nevermind that he was originally appreciated enough to be appointed second-in-command of the entire faction. 

No. 

He was Starscream, the resident punching bag. 

Starscream, the bot everyone could mock and humiliate without feeling too guilty. 

Starcream, the Decepticon co-leader that no one truly respected. 

But, he quickly learned to bury his feelings and do his job, just like Megatron wanted. All of the pent up anger, pain, and sorrow threatened to eat him alive. When he recharged in his quarters at the end of the day, he realized how utterly alone he was.

Flying was the only thing that gave him the slightest hint of peace. He always welcomed an assignment where he could just soar above the twisting skyscrapers, relishing in the cool wind on his wings as he left his cares below. Sometimes, he imagined flying higher and higher until he left Cybertron behind and drifted beyond the moon bases and into the starry beyond, never to return. Sometimes he dipped toward the ground and imagined letting himself fall. 

***

One night, Starscream was returning back to the base from a recon with Thundercracker when the pain in his wings from a recent encounter with Megatron was too much to handle. He alighted on top of a bombed out building and transformed back into his regular form, wincing. Thundercracker joined him, optics shining with concern as Starscream let out a rasping intake.

“Commander Starscream, what’s wrong?” Thundercracker asked, his voice rising. “Are-are you dying, sir?” 

He reached out, but Starscream shoved his servo away. “I’m fine, you fool!” he said sharply. “I’ve had to pull your weight during every skirmish lately. Why am I cursed with such pathetic seekers?”

Oh, Primus. 

He sounded just like Megatron now. 

Starscream looked at Thundercracker in shame. “I-I didn’t mean that!” he said. Then his bottled up emotions escaped and he covered his faceplate with a trembling servo, images of Megatron’s angry face flooding his processor. “I didn’t mean it…I’m sorry. Please…I didn’t…” 

Thundercracker gently touched him on the shoulder. “Starscream, it’s okay.” 

Starscream broke away and dove off the ledge, transforming and flying away as fast as he could.


	2. Chapter 2

Anybot who had spent a few kliks in the Decepticon ranks knew what was going on between Megatron and Starscream. Over the cycles, Thundercracker had watched their tumultuous interactions from a distance. It made him want to purge when other bots joked about Starscream’s humiliating beatdowns, laughing at his misery and taking bets on how badly Megatron would mess him up after a failure.

Starscream appeared to take it well, always hiding behind his loud, brash, overconfident personality, even challenging Megatron out in the open a few times and calling his plans outrageous.

Thundercracker wasn’t fooled. 

He vividly remembered stumbling across his trine mate in the wash racks, his spark clenching as he took in the sight of Starscream scrubbing energon from his chassis while holding back sobs. The Air Commander bolted when he spotted Thundercracker hovering nearby, his shame nearly palpable. 

Thundercacker also didn’t miss the subtle way Starscream trembled whenever Megatron was near, the way he’d clench his servos at his sides and avert his gaze. He didn’t miss the pain etched on Starscream’s faceplate, or his frequent trips to the medical bay. 

He saw it all and it killed him inside. He was too terrified of Megatron to intervene, but too nervous around Starscream to bring up the issue, even if it was out of a desire to comfort him. 

And so he remained silent until one particular cycle when the Seekers suffered one of their most humiliating losses yet. They’d almost captured a key Autobot stronghold outside of Iacon, but Windblade and her airborne allies came out of nowhere, forcing them to the ground where they were then ambushed by Bumblebee, Prowl, and Ironhide. 

Starscream ordered the Decepticons to retreat, knowing full well what awaited him back at base. 

***

“Lord Starscream, I was the one who failed to take down Windblade when I was supposed to be your backup. Let me tell Megatron…”

Starscream spun around, halting the procession. Thundercracker stepped back in alarm. For a moment, he thought Starscream was going to throttle him.

“NO!” The fear in Starscream’s voice betrayed his attempt at sternness. “You’ll remain SILENT during our briefing, and that’s an order.”

“Starscream...”

“I’m your commander and you’ll do as I say!” After giving Thundercracker a final glare, Starscream turned around and marched ahead to meet Megatron.

Thundercracker glanced over at Skywarp. His trine mate looked uneasy, but he quickly smoothed his expression into one of indifference, shrugging. 

Meanwhile, Starscream’s conversation with Megatron quickly escalated into a shouting match. When Megatron heard enough, he grabbed Starscream’s servo in a crushing grip and dragged him out of the hangar to who knew where while Starscream shrieked at him about how they were unprepared. How Megatron’s plan was foolish and he’d warned him a hundred times about attacking that particular spot.

Thundercracker didn’t know what the frag happened next. His pedes moved on their own, carrying him after his leaders and away from Skywarp’s alarmed shouts and Slipstream’s threats. 

He caught them in the corridor. 

“Lord Megatron!” he shouted, but his voice broke at the end. 

Megatron slowly turned around, still holding Starscream’s servo in a death hold as he scowled down at Thundercracker. Starscream’s optics were wide with fear, silently pleading with his trine mate to stand down. 

Thundercracker quickly bowed, then straightened up and looked Megatron in the faceplate. “My Lord, this botched job was a group effort. I messed up the worst, to be honest. They came out of nowhere and I was distracted by….”

“Stop blathering and get back to your team,” Megatron snapped. 

Thundercracker stayed where he was, his spark threatening to beat right out of his chassis. “Just…leave Commander Starscream alone. Please, it wasn’t his fault.” His voice was thick with emotion now. 

He shuddered when Megatron’s optics narrowed. 

“Report back to Slipstream. Now.”

Something snapped inside of Thundercracker and he couldn’t contain himself any longer. “We can’t function as a team when you keep hurting our leader!” he blurted out, instantly regretting it. 

Megatron released Starscream and advanced on Thundercracker, reminding the terrified seeker of just how slagging MASSIVE he was as he towered over him.

Suddenly, Starscream broke out of his stupor long enough to fire a null-ray at Megatron, grazing his shoulder plate and causing the large mech to spin around in alarm. At the same time, Slipstream and Skywarp rushed into the hallway, weapons at the ready. 

“Your ineffective leadership ends here, Megatron!” Starscream screeched. “Make way for the age of Starscream!”

“Seekers, restrain him!” Megatron shouted. 

Slipstream and Skywarp instantly tackled Starscream and pinned him to the ground while a completely dazed Thundercracker awkwardly joined the fray, not sure what to do. He ended up holding onto one of Starscream’s wings, trying not to apply too much pressure. Much to his surprise, Starscream didn’t put up a fight. Didn’t even move. 

Megatron pointed his fusion canon at Starscream’s helm, his faceplate filled with hatred. “You? Lead the Decepticons?” He let out a sharp laugh before grabbing Starscream around the neck and wrenching him from their clutches. “The three of you are dismissed. I’ll deal with this traitorous fool.” 

***

“I don’t understand why you pick fights with Megatron when you know you’ll lose,” Skywarp commented after Starscream complained about his aching chassis for the ninth time since they left the base. 

It had been a cycle since Thundercracker had narrowly escaped Megatron’s wrath and he was still rattled, struggling to concentrate as he flew with Starscream and Skywarp on a mission to scout out some major energon mines in the west. 

“I would’ve won, but Megatron used my own seekers against me,” Starscream protested. “The cowardly old fool. Now I can barely fly properly!” 

“Well, maybe he wouldn’t have beat the slag out of you if you hadn’t randomly attempted to overthrow him!” Skywarp said, getting frustrated. There was a tense pause before he desperately backtracked. “Sorry, that came out wrong…” 

Starscream wasn’t hearing it. “If you haven’t noticed, he never needs an excuse to beat the slag out of me, he just does it. He enjoys it. But, you don’t care! None of you do.” 

“Commander Starscream, we…” Thundercacker tried. 

“No, shut up!” Starscream yelled. “My life is a living nightmare. I have to carry the weight of this entire force while stressing over Megatron all of the time. Do you have any idea what that’s like? Of course you don’t. But, I intend to keep it that way because NOBOT deserves what he does to me. So, yes, Skywarp…I picked a fight with Megatron, but only because I wouldn’t let him lay a dirty servo on anybot under my command, especially my trine!” 

Thundercracker was still processing Starscream’s emotional outburst when they came under fire. He swerved just in time, a bolt streaking by so close to his wing, he could feel the heat. Windblade and her accomplices swooped down on them. Just like last time, the Decepticons were outnumbered again and completely thrown off guard. Primus, they couldn't catch a break. 

They briefly fought in the air, twisting and dipping this way and that, shooting at their enemies, but it was no use. 

“Fall back!” Starscream shouted. 

Just then, Windblade got in a perfect hit, blasting a huge chunk out of Starscream's wing. He screamed in pain as he spun out of control and plummeted toward the ground. 

“Starscream!” Thundercracker cried. 

The Autobots flew at them again, firing. At this point, there was nothing more he could do. He reluctantly sped after Skywarp, his spark ready to explode from fear and sorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

Starscream sluggishly onlined his optics, his vision shorting out several times before he could properly see. The very first things he noticed were the ridiculously strong bindings on his wings and servos. And then the room, a stark white medical space came into focus, as did the group of Autobots hovering nearby (he recognized Wheeljack, Ratchet, Prowl, and Cliffjumper, but not the others). When everything sank in, he immediately descended into panic, thrashing around as fear overwhelmed his processor. The movement only made excruciating pain flare up in every part of his chassis.

 "Hold still, for Primus' sake!" the Autobot medic yelled, pinning Starsceam to the berth. "You're going to tear your welding!"

 "No!" Starscream shouted. "What have you done to me?" His processor immediately went to the dark possibility of the Autobots surgically removing his t-cog… and that sent him into an even more violent round of terror-induced flailing. No, no, no....this couldn't be happening.

 "Don't just stand there...somebot get my cart!" Ratchet said, fighting to keep Starscream still.

 Wheeljack quickly slid Ratchet's supplies closer. Starscream whimpered as Ratchet grabbed a large syringe filled with bright yellow liquid. The medic didn't waist another klik before jabbing the needle into an energon line in Starscream's neck cabling. Everything quickly faded into blackness.

 ***

 When Starscream came out of recharge the second time, the pain was only a dull throb instead of the searing, unbearable torment he'd felt earlier. He took steady intakes, feeling much more tranquil, but still confused. What the frag happened? He looked over at one of his wings, jerking in shock at the mangled remains. Unsightly welding seams ran along the sites of laceration, but the whole thing was a loss.

 Then it all came flooding back. The skirmish. Falling out of the sky. Thundercracker calling for him.

 And now he was a prisoner.

 Megatron always warned him about what the Autobots would do if they caught a Decepticon. How they'd pull him apart piece by piece and use his spare parts to mend their own forces.... but not before torturing him for a while.

 Ratchet came into view, gazing down at Starscream with a stern look. "You need to relax or you'll seriously hurt yourself. It was hard enough fixing your injuries from the crash, but you had a lot of shoddy repair jobs I had to redo from whatever your previous accidents were. Mostly internal. I lost you _five times_ on the operating table."

 Starscream's intake hitched at the medic's words. They’d worked hard to fix him and keep him alive. But...why? Especially when he was most likely their top target, second only to Megatron himself.

 He swiftly composed himself and gave Ratchet a petulant glare. "I've had worse, Autoscum. I'm Air Commander! You think I hide on the base all day?" He couldn't stand the humiliating situation he was in.

 Prowl stepped over to the berth. "You're lucky to be alive, you son of a glitch. Only reason you weren't left to rust is because of Windblade. If it were up to me, I would've---" he broke off when Ratchet gave him a withering look.

 Starscream couldn't think of a witty retort because his processor was whirring into overdrive as his fears suddenly turned to his Seekers. They were entirely at Megatron and Slipstream’s mercy now. No one was going to play up Thundercracker and Skywarp’s achievements on the battlefield so Megatron would stay pleased with them. Or give them extra energon rations. What if Megatron hurt his trine? How would they survive?

 “Starscream!” Ratchet’s voice said, startling him.

 Starscream blinked, returning to the present. He hadn’t even noticed himself freezing up and spacing out. “W-what?” he said hoarsely.

 “I asked how your pain is,” Ratchet said, studying him carefully.

 “Fine,” Starscream muttered. “But, my wing…I won’t be able to fly. And do I still have my t-cog?”

 “Well, you probably won’t need that anymore,” Wheeljack proclaimed. “Not much flying to do in a cell.”

 “Exactly,” Prowl said. “And when we win this war… and we definitely will…your best hope is life imprisonment. But, given your position, it’s most likely going to be execution.” 

 “I can’t decide who has the worst berthside manner between you two,” Ratchet said as he checked Starscream’s vitals on the screen in front of him. “Why is everybot in here anyway? Go away and let me work.”

 Prowl ushered his comrades toward the exit, but not before Cliffjumper turned to Starscream with so much fire in his optics, it actually shook him. For a moment, he thought the Autobot was going to attack and there was nothing he could do to defend himself.

 “You’ve _destroyed_ our planet and killed loads of innocent bots, including some of my close friends,” Cliffjumper said angrily. “Are you happy, ‘con? Is this the change you wanted to bring to Cybertron?”

 Starscream remained silent, but his spark rate spiked.

 “Answer me, Screamer!” Cliffjumper growled, stepping closer. “Don’t act like you’re some poor underling who didn’t know better. You’re as vile as Megatron!”

 Prowl and Wheeljack grabbed Cliffjumper and quickly guided him out of the medical bay before things took a bad turn. The remaining Autobots gave Starscream some departing scowls on their way out. When they’d gone, Starscream was finally able to relax a little bit now that their optics weren’t burning into him, filled with so much loathing.

 “Megatron will come for me,” Starscream blurted out after a moment.

 Ratchet sighed and lowered himself into a chair next to the berth. “We’ve been trying to work out a deal since you stabilized, but he won’t go for it. Won’t accept an exchange for Autobot prisoners, energon, supplies…anything. Said he’d just count it as a loss.”

 The revelation cut through Starscream like a blade, so sharp and devastating. He didn’t know what he was expecting from Megatron and his unreasonable stubbornness, but part of him hoped he was still valuable enough to the cause that he’d pay any price to get him back. But that was a silly fantasy. He was unwanted. Unloved. Disposable. Replaceable.

 Ratchet had a look of pity on his faceplate, which made Starscream even more upset than when the other Autobots were making cutting remarks from the sidelines. He wasn’t somebot to be _pitied._ He was second-in-command of the Decepticons!

 “Starscream, look—“ Ratchet began softly, but Starscream interrupted him.

 “I’ll contact Megatron myself,” he said _,_ even though he had no real desire to. What he really wanted was the status of Skywarp and Thundercracker. He needed to hear their voices, make sure they were safe.

 Before Ratchet could answer, the door slid open and Optimus Prime strolled into the room.

 A shudder ran through Starscream’s whole chassis as the regal Autobot leader drew nearer. Megatron’s warnings echoed in his head. Surely Optimus Prime wasn’t going to show him any mercy like the medic. This was where the torture began. And oh Primus, he would probably offline from the pain considering he hadn’t even healed from his major operations. His tanks churned unpleasantly and he had to swallow back the spew threatening to evacuate his chassis as Optimus loomed over him. A long-suppressed memory suddenly overtook him. One of Megatron hanging him upside down in a cell, lashing him with an electric whip for what felt like an eternity. 

 “Don’t-don't hurt me. Please, no….” 

 He flinched when Optimus laid a large servo on his shoulderplate. “No one is going to hurt you, Starscream.” His rich voice was so unexpectedly gentle and kind, his optics soft.

 Washer fluid streamed down Starscream’s cheeks. It was such a humiliating thing to do right in front of his enemies, but at this point, the stressful situation was tearing him apart and he was beyond caring about his reputation. He just needed to stay alive so he could get back to his Seekers. 

“My trine. Please…let me talk to them.”

 “I’ll consider it,” Optimus said. “But, first, I want to speak with you.”

 He glanced over at Ratchet, who dipped his head respectfully and moved out of audial-range, ducking into his office. Optimus sat in the chair and leaned closer to Starscream.

 “I know what Megatron does to you. How he treats you.”

 Oh no, they _knew._ Starscream burned with shame, but it quickly transformed into anger. “Why do you care? I’m a Decepticon,” he said, his optics blazing through his tears. “Surely I deserve it.”

 “Nobot deserves to be treated that way, Starscream,” Optimus said gently. “And I see much more than a Decepticon when I look at you. I see somebot who’s young, vulnerable, and confused, drawn into Megatron’s ranks by empty promises. I want to help.”

 “By letting me go free?”

 “By offering you a second chance, this time with the Autobots.”

 Starscream froze. For a wild klik, he actually reflected on Optimus’s words and imagined himself amongst the Autobots, free from Megatron’s punishments and the scathing comments from his fellow soldiers. No more constant humiliation and stress. Would the Autobots accept him? Could he find redemption? If Deadlock could do it, wasn’t their hope for him?

 But those absurd thoughts quickly vanished.

 “I may hate Megatron, but I’m a still a proud Decepticon," Starscream said with all of the boldness he could muster. “I'll never switch sides.”

 Optimus stood up, his faceplate heavy with sadness. “Please consider my offer, Starscream,” he said. “I’ll see what info I can gather on your teammates and rejoin you later this cycle.”

 Starscream watched him walk away, but he had the burning desire to ask another question. “Prime…” he said, his voice unsteady again. “Why did you let them save me?”

 Optimus turned around. “Because I see so much potential in you.”

 The words pulled him back to a far away place where somebot else hyped up his potential and stroked his ego. Made him believe he was destined for great things.

 No.

 He wouldn’t fall for it this time.


	4. Chapter 4

"Why is THIS our priority right now?"

Once upon a time, Thundercracker would've shrank in embarrassment as the room went dead silent and all optics turned on him, but he’d grown more audacious over the past few cycles, fueled by a sizzling resentment for everybot around him who treated Starscream's capture like a non-event. But, to be honest, he didn’t know what he expected. Nobot truly appreciated how interconnected the trine was. With their leader gone, he was lost and disoriented, fighting hard to recalibrate as the war raged on.

Slipstream gaped at him from the front of the room, the battle charts casting a green glow on her flabbergasted faceplate. "Excuse me?"

Thundercracker hesitated, looking around at his fellow Seekers for backup, but Skywarp quickly drew a digit across his neck when Thundercracker glanced in his direction. Dirge, Thrust, and Ramjet looked down at their pedes. Acid Storm glared at him. And everybot else just stared straight ahead at Slipstream, hoping the uncomfortable situation passed quickly so they could get on with their orders.

Disappointed by the lack of support, Thundercracker almost backed down to save himself some additional grief for once, but then he remembered how Starscream was probably being tortured in an Iaconian prison somewhere. Alone. Abandoned.

"We should be planning a rescue mission," Thundercracker continued, amazed that he was able to properly articulate his thoughts considering he was ready to punch a wall. “I can't believe we're letting the Autobots take our commander."

Slipstream scowled. "Lord Megatron already attempted to negotiate with the Autobots. They asked for far too much. For the good of the cause, we..."

“Negotiating with _Autobots?_ When did we become such COWARDS? We should gather our forces and launch an assault, get him back!"

"That's it, Thundercracker!" Slipstream yelled. "I've generously put up with your insubordination long enough. Report to Lord Megatron. Now"

Thundercracker's energon ran cold.

***

Thundercracker hovered in the doorway, peering into the shadowy recess of Megatron's private work quarters where he could make out the outline of the warlord's hulking figure in front of a large screen.

He took a deep intake and walked into the room. "M-Megatron?"

Megatron slowly turned around and looked down at him, his glowing optics seeming to burn a hole through Thundercracker's very core. Thundercracker dipped his helm in respect, spark pulsing uncontrollably.

"I assume Slipstream finally sent you? She’s logged quite a few incidents on your performance file as of late. Disappointing."

"My Lord, it won't happen again."

"No, it certainly won't."

Thundercracker braced himself. Here it came. Despite all of Starscream's precautions, all of his hard work to make sure the other Seekers were spared from Megatron's violence, Thundercracker was going to get it. Megatron was going to beat him to scrap and he'd finally know what Starscream felt like on a regular basis. The terror. The pain.

But, Megatron didn't raise a servo to hit him. He merely pointed at a conference table on the other side of the room near a wide window. "Let's talk, shall we?"

Thundercracker was trembling as he walked to the designated meeting area and lowered himself into a chair. He clasped his servos together in his lap so hard, he could've sworn he dented the metal. Megatron sat across from Thundercracker, steepling his digits as he gazed steadily at him, his expression unreadable.

"I don't do well with discord within my ranks, so speak your mind. Let's solve this here and now," Megatron said.

Thundercracker's spark was about to pulse right out of his chamber, but he pulled himself together. He needed to stay strong for Starscream.

“My Lord, I firmly believe we should save Commander Starscream. He's an invaluable member of our military and we should do whatever's necessary to bring him home."

"And go right into the heart of Iacon, risking who knows how many Decepticon lives, to save a single bot who may be far too damaged to ever provide use to us again?”

The bluntness of the words cut through Thundercracker, throwing him off guard. “We can’t just leave him,” he said, desperation slipping into his voice now.

“Why not?”

Thundercracker searched Megatron’s impassive face for a tiny hint of mercy, anything. Failing, he decided to try another tactic. “He's the best Seeker we have. Our unit won't perform as well in his absence, plus you’d be taking on a greater workload.”

Megatron smirked. "That's all he is? A strategic advantage?" he mused. "You have Slipstream, Acid Storm, and plenty of other capable leaders. Be honest with me. Why should we extract him?”

"I--well…"

"It's never just been about strategy with you," Megatron said.

The room was spinning. A high pitched noise rang in Thundercracker's audials as he started to zone out from the pressure of being interrogated by Megatron. He briefly shuttered his optics against the onslaught of anxiety before meeting Megatron's gaze again. "He’s my trinemate. I care about him."

Scrap, that sounded pathetic, but he couldn't come up with anything else. He was swiftly losing this fight.

“And that’s your weakness, Thundercracker.”

“I don't understand,” Thundercracker said, trying to keep his voice steady as frustration threatened to burst free. Why couldn't Megatron stop being such a fragger? 

Megatron stood up. Thundercracker braced himself for the worst, but his leader merely stepped over to the window and stared out at the twisted spires of Kaon and the gray skies above.

“There’s much you don’t understand, my poor, naive Seeker,” Megatron said quietly. “If this pit-spawned life has taught me anything, it’s that you need to let go of frivolous relationships and focus on the fight. On keeping in peak condition and _winning._ Attachment, and all of the fragilities it engenders, only holds you back. I lost sight of this truth for a while after leaving the arena, but I course-corrected. And now look at me. I'm not some weak-sparked fool! My enemies have _nobot_ to use against me. You would be wise to follow my example.”

Megatron sounded imperious and undaunted as usual, but Thundercracker didn't miss the miniscule hint of melancholy beneath his words. Silence hung between them for several kliks until Thundercracker finally found the will to continue the hopeless debate.

“But, we need him,” he said, completely deflated.

Megatron leaned a servo on the glass. “This is war. The cause always comes first, no matter how many Decepticons we lose along the way. Now, get out. I don’t want to hear any more complaints about you from your superior.”

***

By the end of the cycle, Thundercracker slowly came to the realization that there was nothing he could do. Neither Megatron or Slipstream were willing to rescue Starscream. And since all of the others were too scared of going against their leaders' wishes, Thundercracker would have to do it alone...which would definitely end with him getting killed or captured as soon as he entered Iaconian airspace. Not to mention the unfortunate possibility that Starscream himself probably wasn't in any condition to fight and never would be again, if the extent of his injuries was accurate.

It was futile.

That night, in between missions, Thundercracker slipped into Starscream's quarters (he knew the access code by spark) and sat on the berth, looking around at the perfectly organized, clean area. He remembered the late hour meetings where just he, Skywarp, and Starscream would gather here and brainstorm ideas on how to improve the trine. Or occasionally swap stories about their wild adventures while enjoying a bottle of high grade energon that Skywarp had managed to smuggle onto the base.

Now, Thundercracker came here to say goodbye.

He let the silence settle over him, bringing a deep, agonizing sadness along with it. He never thought he'd feel so strongly about Starscream. He suspected a lot of his mates were glad to see the arrogant, shrill, impulsive, and volatile bot gone for good, but it was tragic how they would never know the gentler side of Starscream that hardly anybot was privy to. Only he would remember the times Starscream stood up for him, went above and beyond to train him, gave him extra energon rations, stayed by his berthside while he was recovering from an accident...

There was affection and protectiveness in Starscream's spark. Thundercracker was sad that it took him so long to notice.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for all of your feedback! I really appreciate it.


End file.
